In working with COUPLES and RELATIONSHIPS:
Intimate relationships can bring up some of our deepest pain. While this may be very challenging, it can also give us a wonderful opportunity to heal and bring awareness to that which we have unconsciously learned in our families of origin. Through this awareness, we can then transform these old patterns that may be emerging in the present. A new freedom to give and receive love and experience joy together can be attained.
The following are some common issues I have worked with:
transforming hot and cold conflict into peace and connection
reigniting a mutually satisfying sex life between partners and resolving issues around sex and sexuality
negotiating differences around sex drive
transforming blame and avoidance into mutual understanding and empathy
healing wounds of past sexual abuse that emerge around sex and sexuality in relationship
healing from broken agreements/affairs and creating a new relationship together
finding connection again when connection has been lost
negotiating issues with open relationships and non traditional lifestyles
I primarily have trained in and utilize the Attachment based, Somatically oriented, and Neuroscience informed model of AEDP for Couples in my work with couples and relationships. In order to feel motivated and safe to explore challenging past and present patterns, we need enough of the neurotransmitter, dopamine, to be present in the brain. Dopamine can be induced through the felt experience of love with another. We also need a good supply of the neurotransmitter, acetylcholine, in order to consolidate changes in the brain from our old templates to new, more flexible ways of relating that are filled with more joy and less conflict and disconnection.
In order to maximize the neuroplastic potential of your brain, we might do some of the following together:
Use mindful awareness of your somatic (bodily) experience of giving and receiving love
Find the places of joy and play between you and your partner and get playful together in the therapy room
Feel into old relational patterns in your body and memories from the past and transform them through new experiences with your partner in the therapy room
Notice ways you may be unconsciously blocking the capacity to give, receive, and perceive love and shift these blocks
Find ways to notice states when you are "triggered" or in a trauma state with your partner and bring new resources online to better hear one another, de-escalate, and relate more effectively.
I see our work together as a collaborative process, and I always welcome your feedback and guidance about what works for you! I am comfortable and knowledgeable in working with all types of relationships, including: polyamory, bdsm, kink, open relationships, monogamy, queer and straight relationships.